Sometimes it’s very hard to decipher what you truly feel about a situation. There are so many different variables you have to consider and it feels like there really isn’t a straightforward answer. It’s hard to navigate through the many emotions, choices, and possible outcomes that sometimes we continue to deal with the same worries in order to maintain a sense of “order.” Even if it’s chaotic, it still has a sense of familiarity and a method to the madness.
We get scared to move towards the uncomfortable. The uncomfortable can take the form as addressing an issue with someone, moving towards a dream, or completely removing yourself from a harmful environment. We see many people continually live in the same cycle of doubt, distress, and dissatisfaction. From an outside perspective it seems like a no brainer but to those living in that world it becomes very narrow and suffocating.
Our minds close in on certain things and tell us “truths” that reinforce our perspective on others and ourselves. I’ve heard people say, “this is the way it has always been and it will never change,” and because they say that it really does never change. They have already decided that this is the world that they have to live in. They do not believe that there is anything better, and for whatever reason they believe they do not deserve it.
Another reason we continue to struggle is because we lack confidence in ourselves. We feel a certain way in the beginning but it is diluted in the mess of words, thoughts, and continuous analyzing/doubting our own feelings. We make exceptions, we tell ourselves that what we felt was wrong, and that maybe we are just being too picky/sensitive/dramatic/whatever. Yet, when we really think about it, we continue to be triggered by the same things, and deep down we know that it makes us feel a certain way for a reason.
Our feelings are a good indicator of what isn’t working and what is. Yet, we ignore the feelings and doubt their validity. This happens especially if you grew up being told that what you are feeling is wrong. Being in an environment that does not encourage openly expressing your feelings in a constructive way will obviously lead to a future of doubting yourself. Being attacked when you express your feelings also leads to a fear of opening up.
I believe that the more we deny what we feel, the more we will allow situations and people to dictate our lives. This is not how we are intended to live. I believe each one of us have the wisdom within ourselves to know what is good for us and what feels right. The more we trust ourselves and love ourselves, the more we choose people/situations/paths that line up with what we truly value and want in life. It’s definitely not easy and takes a lot of practice but we can start today to listen to our feelings without judging them.